Hope

Hope.  According the the Merriam Webster dictionary Hope is defined as: (verb) to want something to happen or to be true and think it could happen or be true. It's also my name.. or was. I as of next Monday, have been married for 6 months and I changed my name. I used to HATE my name Hope. I hate that most people cannot hear it "ho? cope? pope?" -- yes, I have encountered all those and many more in the past 28 years of life. I hate the " I hoooope you feel better/ have a good birthday" typical blah blah lines. I loathe receiving items at christmas - due to the fact that its all HOPE as in Christmas hope.

I love the reason why I have my name though. I came in to the world an accident. My birthmother did not know she was pregnant so in October of 1987, I made my way into this world a surprise. The story goes that I was named Hope by the hospital staff due to the fact I was a very small preemie baby. My adoptive parents decided to keep that name as it is basically a part of me.

Today, February 26th, I am embracing my name.

Yesterday I received a phone call at work, saying that the lump on my thyroid is cancer. The C word freaks me out. I am having a hard time even saying it. It still doesn't seem real. I am healthy, nothing hurts, I feel fine.. yet I have cancer. Me. At 28 years old.. I have the C word.

Even though I have changed my name, I am Meredith and no longer Hope.. I am now embracing my name and I am Hope through and through. I am hopeful that this is all going to be taken care of. Nothing in my life has really come too easily, so I am hopeful that I will get through all of this mess.

xo - Meredith